


Finding Bliss

by sunraysinthesea



Category: Code Vein (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, Too much Louis angst out there, What Is Love? BABY DON'T HURT ME, and as much as I enjoy it I think the boi deserves a break, attacking louis without talking to him, coco looks after him tho, comin' through with a louis romance fresh outta the oven, did you really expect me not to jump at a chance to write abt his voice, ishikawa kaito voices louis, louis is not sure what he feels, ofc he tries to solve his problems brooding alone, say it with me: louis is a dramatic theather kid, yakumo and mc being dorks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:42:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22333603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunraysinthesea/pseuds/sunraysinthesea
Summary: Let it be known that I haven't the slightest idea of what I'm doingalso pls bear with me here I need to warm up to writing Louis a bit
Relationships: Louis/Protagonist (Code Vein)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 141





	1. Reading

**Author's Note:**

> Let it be known that I haven't the slightest idea of what I'm doing 
> 
> also pls bear with me here I need to warm up to writing Louis a bit

Louis did not think a time would come when he could just sit back and read as much as his heart desired for many reasons. The current circumstances with the Lost roaming around freely and terrorizing unsuspecting or unprepared revenants, the lack of blood beads to feed on which creates a deadly dispute among revenants who should be sticking together at a time like this or his lack of progress on his mission, for starters. 

He can confidently say meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to him in his lifetime. 

Having the power to re-activate mistles was no small blessing in this poor excuse of a world, but the ability to change your blood code on top of that? Louis was sure he was meant to meet you. He still remembers the odd mix of relief and excitement he felt when you took his hand in yours as an indication you would help. 

The first few times you went out to explore, you asked him to be your partner, and Louis gladly complied. He was the only person you have 'befriended' at the home base at the time, and you had an albeit brief experience in partnering up with him from the time you teamed up in the city underground. He takes it you are one of those people who are not fond of change since your partner stayed the same even after forming deep bonds with others in the home base. 

As he spent more time with you, he concluded that you do not like to talk a lot. Even during the missions, you would answer when he asked a question to you specifically, but you had always pushed him to speak by asking a question too broad or in need of a lengthy explanation. The occasional silence between the two of you was not uncomfortable in the slightest, on the contrary, he could use some blessed silence after being partners with Yakumo for so long. 

Or so he thought before he saw you talking Yakumo's ear off at the terrace as you exchanged snacks. He does not know what drives him to think _'Oh, I guess she just dislikes speaking to me'_ , but he takes that for a definitive answer, buries his feelings deep down and pretends that his heart did not clench at the thought of you not seeing him as a friend close enough for you to be your enthusiastic self around. 

His random ramblings to fill the silence ceased shortly after, which, _purely coincidentally,_ triggered your ramblings to start. You still have not dropped your mission of getting him to talk, but his clipped answers and curt voice threw you off. For the first time, an uncomfortable silence settled between you two. 

You timidly approach him at the hot springs sometime after. 

''Louis?'' 

With a hum, he shifts your way, though stubbornly refusing to meet your eyes, keeping his gaze fixed on the water. 

''Are you mad at me?''

His head snaps up at your ludicrous question. ''...No?'' He hates that he sounds offended, and he hates that an _'At you? How could I be?'_ almost slipped from his lips more. 

''Oh.'' You float over to his side. ''Sorry for assuming, then. It's just that you've stopped talking as much, you know? I was wondering for a while now if it was something I did. Whenever I tried to get you to talk, your answers were always sorta...curt? That kinda threw me off, so I thought I would approach you when you were more...relaxed. And what better place is there to do that besides the hot springs? So don't think of me as one of those clingy friends who are like 'oh are you mad at me?' when you haven't talked to them for like, two hours. '' 

Louis chuckles, '' I thought you didn't like chatting with me?'' He asks it as casually as possible, but his eyes are begging for you to refute him. 

'' No, not really,'' His breath hitches. ''It's just that you have such a nice voice that I prefer listening to you speak when you're around.'' After he does not respond, ''Oh! Um! Was that too forward of me? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's just, uh, um, phonetically speaking, you have a melodious rhythm of speech? A nice voice? I just like to hear you speak? ...Whew, there is no way I can walk around this, is there?'' 

All the words die down in his throat as he just stands there, still as a statue, gaping at you. His cheeks are tinted a nice shade of red, but so are yours, as far as you are concerned.

'' Louis, my anxiety peaks more and more each second you stay silent. It's currently off the charts and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. Please respond?'' 

Finally collecting himself, he says, 

''I- um. I apologize, first of all. For giving you the impression I was mad at you. And almost giving you a ' heart attack'. To be honest, I saw you having a heated discussion with Yakumo a while back, and I just assumed, well, that you weren't fond of me since you tend to refrain from speaking around me.'' 

''Huh.'' You nod. ''Well, I was hurt, y' know? Devastated. Absolutely miserable. How are you going to atone for your sins, for breaking this maiden's heart so?'' You huff dramatically and elbow his side playfully. 

Catching your drift, Louis clears his throat. ''What do you want me to do?'' 

As soon as the words leave his mouth, ''Read to me!'' you beam. 

That's how you ended up in one of the back rooms (as you did not want to disturb anyone) spawled out on the bed, hugging a pillow and looking up at Louis, who sat up with his back to the headboard, legs crossed and book in hand. You had insisted that he continued the book he was currently reading--which happened to be a romance novel of all genres, much to Louis' dismay, but he picked up where he left off nonetheless, after giving you a detailed summary of what happened in the book so far. You pointedly ignore the thought that the main couple reminds you so much of you and Louis.

The story itself was quite romantic with the cliche trope of friends-to-lovers, no glaring plot holes or dumb miscommunications that take god knows how long to solve, and to your luck, things were just beginning to get exciting, the story slowly staring to tease the main couple's confession. 

Louis kept on reading, occasionally stopping to check if you have fallen asleep and got right back to reading with a smile when you whined and craned your head to look at him, his hand coming to rest on the top of your head.

It is a wonder how you managed to pay attention to the plot at all, between Louis' velvety voice and his hand mindlessly stroking your hair, but after giving yourself a mental pat on the back for holding up this far, your eyes flutter shut and your breathing evens out. 

Louis thanks every god in existence to find you sound asleep when he checks on you just as a kiss scene comes up. It was hard enough to read with you staring at him as it is, it would be downright impossible for him to read a kiss scene of two characters who remind him so much of you and him without his voice giving his feelings away. Seeing as he is still not sleepy and his mind registered nothing he has read so far, he flips the pages and starts re-reading from where he originally left off. 

You wake up the next morning to find Louis still in his reading position, but fast asleep and head resting in his shoulder in a crooked way which you are sure will leave his neck sore. You reach up and delicately cradle his face to move him into a more comfortable position, but the moment you touch his face, he jolts awake, his hands shooting up to tightly grip your wrists. 

'' Good morning sunshine.'' you grin up at him, and all the tension leaves his body with a heavy sigh. 

''Likewise, _Sleeping Beauty._ It's quite rude of you to fall asleep when I'm in the middle of reading to you, _per your request, mind you_. How will _you_ mend _my_ broken heart, hm?'' He asks, mirth dancing in his crimson eye. 

It becomes a regular thing, reading books to one another. He never got to tell you he enjoys hearing your voice as much as you like hearing his.


	2. First Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC: One of my friends gets imprisoned and the other gets his mask busted and threading close to frenzy. From now on, I have a strict ''no friends'' policy.
> 
> Louis: 
> 
> MC: Okay, I'll make an exception because he looks really polite.

Is it just a sick joke or plain misfortune, you have no idea. It feels all the same. 

Waking up god knows where with absolutely no memory of how you got there is not exactly an ideal way to start your day. Io-- as you came to learn, later on, was there when you first woke up, and in a way, she has taken care of you and guided you when you most needed it. She was one of the rarest species around after the Great Collapse--a kind soul. 

It was only expected she would be the one held hostage when the arrogant one ordered a search for blood beads in the tunnels. 

_'' Good call, asshole,''_ you mutter bitterly, knowing full well you could sneak away one way or another if you had Io by your side. The good-natured brunette squeezes your shoulder in reassurance, ''Don't worry, we'll get her back. We have to find some blood beads to ensure her safety, is all. Let's do this!'' he whispers before the two of you are kicked into the tunnel. 

''Ouch. You okay?'' he asks, extending a hand after you nod. ''I'm Oliver Collins, by the way. Nice to meet you! I just wish it was under better circumstances.'' 

Chuckling, you shake his hand. He seems optimistic and adaptable, dependable and easy to get along with as well, from your brief encounter with him. It would not hurt to be friendly with him. ''Nice to meet you too, Oliver.'' You look up to the place you fell from and add, ''I mean, I get that they're going for the rough and tough image, but there's a ladder right there. They could've just let us climb down. Tch.'' 

''It cuts off halfway...'' He trails off, ''Looks like we can't use it to get back. Let's just call it a headstart. Come on, we gotta find some blood beads for your friend's safety.'' the lightness of his voice eases your worries a bit. 

You drew in the Lost and let Oliver finish them off because of the poor excuse of a weapon you have--if a stray pipe can even be called that. When you got your hands on a decent weapon, you both worked together, hacking away at the Lost in search of blood beads. 

It was not long before you ran into a revenant, doubled over and heaving. Your arm shot up to stop Oliver when he went over to help, but he has already made his way over to the revenant. With a sigh, you also take a step towards him. Io and Oliver were of great help to you, and you should help others as much as you can, just as they did with you. 

You are frozen in place when the revenant turns around with glowing red eyes, too similar to a Lost, and by the time you move to kill it, it has already delivered a fatal blow to Oliver's mask. 

Kneeling by Oliver's side, you move to check on him. He seems far from okay, and you are sure his mask is busted from the way air hisses out of the side. He waves you off as he forces himself to sit up, telling you it is fine. That you should go ahead, that he will catch up in a bit. 

_Lies._

It feels like a cat running away from home in its last moments so the owner does not witness its death. You know you will never see him again, that he will never 'catch up'. Mustering all of your mental strength, you give him a nod and your best smile, and tell him that you will come pick him up. 

You do not know how long you spend numbly wandering around, killing whatever Lost that stands in your way, but after you lower your blade and pick up the Lost's items, out of the corner of your eye, you see it. 

_Another revenant._

Eyes sharp, you slowly make your way over to him. 

_You will not make the same mistake again._

He must have noticed you since he pushes himself off the wall he was leaning on and walks towards you, sword at hand. That is enough of a sign to you. 

Before he can say anything, you lunge at him, and a sharp clang echoes in the caves when your blades clash. 

''What are you doing?!'' He half-yells as he repeatedly dodges your attacks. His question falls on deaf ears as you continue your series of blows in total concentration. You pull back and charge at him again, this time using more force. He blocks your sword, but not considering the possibility of you landing a solid kick to his stomach, he staggers back and hits the wall, breath knocked out of his lungs, he barely had enough time to lift his sword to avert yours to the side, making it stab the wall instead of the intended place, his heart. 

''Hey, snap out of it! There's no need for this!!'' 

Perhaps it is the close proximity, or the strain in his voice that helps you get a grip, but you blink for a couple of times before you pull back, and it is the first time you _see_ him.

_'It's a good thing he's skilled,'_ a voice from the back of your mind says, _'I'd hate to kill one as pretty as this without good reason.'_

The stranger eyes you as warily for a moment before speaking. '' Have you come to?''

'' Yeah... Sorry for, um, trying to kill you.'' You cringe. It sounds way worse when you say it out loud, and once again you are reminded of the importance of wording your thoughts correctly. 

''You seemed pretty out of it. It was like you were looking through me instead of looking _at_ me when you were attacking. Anyhow, I'm glad you've come to. Are you a fellow explorer? It appears you are alone.'' 

Alone. An image of Oliver flashes in your mind. 

You nod stiffly. ''My partner... He... He was attacked by a fellow revenant that recently frenzied. It still looked like a revenant, and it looked like it was in pain, so my partner went over to help and it...busted his mask.'' 

''I'm sorry to hear that.'' The stranger looks conflicted like he does not know how to handle the situation. His seemingly cold words are genuine, you can feel as much. And if the way he hesitantly lifted his hand only to pull it back means anything, it means he wants to offer you his sympathy. 

''I've been out of it like you've said. When I saw you with a blade in hand, my mind went blank, and I acted without thinking. I hope you can forgive me.'' 

''I understand where you're coming from. It's all right, I forgive you since there was no real harm done. Though, my initial aim was to ask you a favor when I first saw you. I'm on my own at the moment too, but I was hoping for a partner for the path ahead. Would you mind working together, at least until we're through here?'' 

You look at him questioningly. Forgiving you for almost killing him was one thing, but asking to partner up right after that? Was he insane? 

He must have taken your silence the wrong way since he adds, ''Don't worry, I'm not going to stab you in the back. The miasma and the Lost are enough trouble as it is.'' 

''...That's exactly what someone who would stab me in the back would say.'' You blurt out. ''No, hang on, I mean, are you sure? I was attacking you less than a minute ago.'' 

''Ah. That's the reason, actually. I mean, I don't appreciate my life being targeted, but it gave me a chance to see your skill, and needless to say, I'm impressed. So, what do you say?'' 

He extends a hand, looking at you expectantly. He is extremely polite, even in a situation like this. You do not find it in yourself to deny him. 

'' All right, let's go together.'' 

''Thanks a lot. I'm glad to work with you.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen,,,, Listen,,,,,,, I thought about the prompt where, y'know, there's a fight scene and like, one opponent pins the other to a wall or the floor or whatever yeah?? And you can feel the sexual tension like a third person in the room, yeah??? I was gonna write it, but it just didn't fit Louis, in my opinion. There's only one space for a horndog in this game, and it's reserved for Yakumo sdfghjk Honestly I just don't see Louis being even the slightest bit distracted. At all. Not by looks, at least. Anyway, that's all thanks for coming to my ted talk.


	3. Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dusts this chapter off* you have been rotting away at my drafts for too long. Be free, my child. 
> 
> wee bit of exploring romantic feelings, a whole lot of mc being a dork.

Louis yearns for something like no other.

He blames his imagination for straying off too far, or the romance novels he read time and time again. Perhaps it is the way people make him picture it, something bright, beautiful and everlasting, just as fierce as it is delicate. 

_Love._

Many questions run through his mind at the word. Will he be able to find it one day? Will he be able to feel it one day? Is he even deserving of such a wonderful thing, with his sins looming over him like a dark cloud of pain and regret? He feels a glimmer of hope that his wish to love and be loved in return will be fulfilled nonetheless.

The image of Jack's expression after he thought he lost Eva flashes through his mind as if to crush that little hope he has. Then Davis' somber eyes as he talks about his fiance. He was not so naive to believe in happily ever afters, but the reality of losing a loved one is too great of a pain to bear, he knows it all too well, you all do.

Even if he were to find love, how long would it take before it is taken from him?

The pages of the book he is holding may as well be blank. He has long stopped trying to focus on his work, and skimming over the lines over and over again proved to be tiring after a while. Pretending to read does not help his thoughts die down, but at least it provides a nice cover so he does not look like he has died with his eyes open. 

Louis brushes his bangs out of his irritated eyes with a sigh, slumping back into his chair in defeat. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Coco glance his way, concern washed over her usually stoic face. Louis gives a strained smile and vaguely gestures to the pile of work in front of him, hoping it would ease her worries a little. It does, but a hint of doubt still lingers on her face, as if sensing that it is not all that bothers him. She offers him a welcoming glance and a reassuring nod nonetheless. 

Louis' resolve falters at the warm gesture, and he finds himself briefly considering whether he should go to Coco for advice, but he decides against it for now. He should sort his thoughts out first. 

Uncertainty is one of the things he hates the most. 

_'Oh, is that the word we're using for fear now?'_ A mocking voice whispers from the back of his mind, and Louis wishes his mind would leave him be sometimes. He fears his feelings for you are in passing, that he does not love you, but the idea of being with you. _Does that not mean he would be okay with it being anyone else?_ His heart clenches at the thought. 

He fears that he will make a wrong decision, that he will _ruin something._ If his feelings are genuine, if what he is feeling is love indeed, he fears that his feelings will be unrequited. 

He would not hold it against you. It happens, after all. He just hopes that you will not distance yourself from him if that is the case.

But above all, if the feeling is mutual, if the two of you got together, he fears you will be taken from him. He is not sure if he is strong enough to bear that pain. 

He glances at the couches out of the corner of his eye to see you playfully wrestling Yakumo for an onigiri he keeps holding out of your reach. The last one remaining, probably. 

A fond smile creeps upon his face, which morphs into a snort when you let out a mighty battle cry and tackle Yakumo down onto the couch, managing to take a bite out of the little ball he was holding above his head in the process, grinning triumphantly at him with rice grains on your chin and around your mouth. Yakumo glances at your face and then up to the messed up ball of rice in his hand, and with a defeated groan, shoves the rest of the rice in your mouth. 

Louis is practically shaking in his seat, one hand gripping the armrest of the chair and the other clamped over his mouth. A few stray tears escape his crimson eyes, and he has to turn away to wipe his cheeks as his other hand presses on his stomach to ease the cramped muscles.

''Hey, you okay?'' 

He flinches at the sound of your voice and clears his throat before nodding. You crane his head towards you and brush his bangs away from his flushed face to get a better look at him. 

''You sure?'' 

'' Yeah,'' he whispers breathlessly, biting his lip when he feels laughter bubbling up in his throat again. You beam at the traces of laughter in his voice, and the soft smile he flashes you.

'' Oh, what the hell! I was worried.'' You mutter, flicking his forehead lightly. 

'' Sorry, it's just, Yakumo's face-- and your--'' he shakes his head, clicking his tongue teasingly as he picks up the remaining grains on your face with his fingertips. An abashed smile graces your lips. 

_Louis is tremendously afraid of losing you, but he is willing to take the chance if it means you can make more memories like this._


	4. Comfort

It is so easy for the mind to wander when your thoughts are all over the place. 

You are all too familiar with the feeling of daydreaming, it is a means of escape at this point. Imagining the sweet embrace of a non-existent lover, a fun slumber party with that one character from the comic you really like, or being the 'hero' in some way, be it saving the world from a half-assedly developed threat or helping an old lady with her groceries and seeing her smile in appreciation in return. All these thoughts are a stark contrast against the current situation the world is in, but it gives you a sense of power, thinking you at least have control over what happens in your head. However, with your imagination running in the back of your mind at all times, sometimes those daydreams stray to more...curious takes, those around you being the unassuming victims, as much as you hate to admit. 

It starts off innocent, usually, such as imagining what kind of a mother Coco was before all this. It is not like you don't know, she is enough of a mother hen towards the group as is, but your mind wanders when you remember she had a son. _What did he look like? What was the dad like? Who did he take after? Would he be the type of kid to sell the stickers he bought in a bundle for five times the price to his friends at elementary school? Perhaps. Would Coco be proud or would she scold him?_

Yakumo has really big arms, you note one day. _And yet he still can't win when we're wrestling,_ you exhale through your nose to mask a laugh. _What if he got you in a headlock? Would he even feel anything if you bit him? Yeah, he definitely would, beefy arms do not equal thick skin or higher pain tolerance, get a hold of yourself, what the hell? Hm, I should dare him to crack a walnut in his elbow or something._

Io was not the one to express herself, you have learned as much from the time the two of you spent together. One thing she explicitly underlined was that she cares about you so very much, all the while keeping her blank face. You wonder what she would be like if you had gotten hurt. Or died. Would she have an expression then? _A cruel and unbecoming thought,_ you warn yourself. _It's not like she has to show her feelings on her face._

Oh, Louis. You find yourself wondering a lot about Louis. Seeing someone work day and night with such burning resolve would pique the curiosity of anyone. There is not much to move you to work hard, besides deadlines. And a sense of responsibility, if you are in a productive mood. More or less rolling with what you can do to help with your power, you wonder what drives Louis to devote himself to his research. In your case, your power is extremely rare, if not one of a kind. So you can and do purify mistles, clearing the miasma and increasing the number of blood beads produced, thus lowering the chances of more revenants joining the Lost. But Louis? He has no special power of some sort, he is just another revenant (only difference is that he is freakishly good at everything he does), so just why would he take on the entire world's weight on his own? 

At first, you naively thought it was simply because he was benevolent. Like a doctor dedicating almost their entire lives to their craft, solely out of a desire to help people. Or the money involved. But Louis gains absolutely nothing from slaving away at his desk trying to connect the veins he has found so far to the source of the blood beads. 

So you observe. 

There is an unhealthy gleam in his eyes as he obsessively goes over his notes. You can feel the frustration as he drags a hand through his hair with a suppressed huff, looking at the papers as if he hates them with every fiber of his being. Your gut tells you it is not the papers he hates. It takes you a while to approach him about this, mulling over the best way to do this.

Somehow you end up with Louis wrapped up like a blanket sushi in the questionable pillow fort you made in your room, two cups of piping hot tea, and some snacks beside you. This is...quite childish, you realize. The original plan was to talk like the two _'' adults''_ you are, sitting at a table or something, whatever, you did not really plan it through. But seeing Louis free of his resting-stress-face in the dimly lit room, you decide that this was for the best. 

While Louis hesitantly leans towards you, with equal amounts of hesitation, you pull him flush against your side, your grip on his arm light in case he finds it uncomfortable. He clears his throat before moving his body in front of you and putting his head on your shoulder, shuffling around a bit to find the optimal position before settling down. You put one hand on his back and one on his head, lightly stroking his hair and fiddling with the hairs on the nape of his neck. 

Oh. A full-body cuddle session with Louis initiating? _Neat._

''I take it you wanted to talk to me?'' It is more of a statement than a question, you know it is his way of lighting the green light for the conversation to come. 

You hum. ''Would you happen to know about what I wanted to talk about?'' 

''...No.'' Louis takes a moment to think. ''But I can guess from the way you have been eyeing me lately. Just because I'm busy glaring at my notes doesn't mean that I'm not aware of my surroundings, you know.'' 

''It seems like I've underestimated you, nerd.'' You ruffle his hair a bit before pressing your nose into his hair with a cheeky grin on your face. 

Heaving a sigh, Louis simply pushes himself closer to you. ''I... don't think I'm ready to talk about it. Yet. It gets tough, sometimes. I know talking about it might make me feel better, but-'' His voice cracks, ''-but I don't know how to talk about it when even the thought of it breaks me.'' 

You remove your hand from his hair, causing Louis to choke out a whine at the loss of contact before it is replaced by an appreciative sigh when you move it down to stroke his back comfortingly. 

''You don't have to talk about it, I just- I just need you to know that you're not alone and I'm here for you. '' You squeeze him harder when you feel his shoulders start to shake, ''Seeing you suffer pains me Louis, truly. I want to be of help _somehow_ but I don't know how.''

Releasing a shaky breath, ''Hold me.'' Louis murmurs, nestling his face right in the crook of your neck before you feel his wet eyelashes flutter against your skin. You keep stroking his back soothingly, whispering praises and affirmations in his ear, peppering some kisses on the side of his head when you see fit.

Funny, among those curious thoughts you had, you have always wondered what kind of crier Louis was. The man had a face carved from stone most of the time, after all, it was inevitable for your mind to wander there. He did not seem like the type to be a loud crier, you just can not imagine him pouring his heart out like the people from dramas, screaming and yelling in agony. But confirming he was a silent crier right in your arms shattered your heart into tiny pieces, seeing Louis crumble, unable to stop crying, and yet it still felt like he was holding back so much. 

You do not know how much time passes before Louis' ragged breathing falls into a rhythm, but you do not dare loosen your embrace. He sniffles discreetly, croaking out a ''Thank you''. Relief washes over you at the lightness in his voice, at least you were able to help him somehow like you wanted. 

''Perhaps I should make this a regular thing rather than waiting for you to combust from stress?'' Your soft tone contradicts the cheeky remark. Cradling his face gingerly, you brush your lips against his cheeks before brushing the tearstains away with the pads your thumbs. 

He leans into your touch, ''That would be great, love.''


End file.
